Casper!

Yup! You know him. Everyone knows him ... the friendly ghost.
So why am I talking about Casper again? Not 'cause I like some cartoon baby ghost. No! Not at all. I'm talking about Casper because well, to some extent he reminds me of someone I know. Myself!
I remember the first time I heard the word. I was in the AUN clubhouse with Soji & some other peeps just hanging and talking bout chics. He asked me about a girl and whether we were hooking up or if I was her Casper (I wasn't btw). The concept of Casper basically has to do with guy-girl relationships. You know? That guy that hangs out with the hot girl but isn't doing anything with her (not because he doesn't want to). It just so happened that he ended up in the unfortunate 'friends-zone'.
Well, that guy 80% of the time is me. The good thing for me though is that it’s not because I couldn’t avoid / can’t get out of the friend zone, but because I have too many female friends (if only my Young Money wish would come true). I can’t possibly expect to date them or be involved in other capacities with all of them. I don’t mind. I like being there for people. My problem is not with being Casper as much as it is with why I become their Casper. I get too attached to people too easily. I meet a girl. She’s fine and intelligent (has a sense of humor). I like her. Next thing we’re besties. Then she meets the dude that she eventually ends up going out with and he’s an asshole (usually my friend too). Now I have to listen to all the BS and telling her to break up with him is not an option (not even cos the guy is my guy but because girls rarely listen to that stuff). The truth is that it actually annoys me when I see guys treating girls like crap. It hurts even more when the girls are my friends.
I need to stop caring (at least stop acting like I do). I don’t want be a bastard, but a little less sensitivity will take me a long way. Kill that nice guy image too.
The thing with this annoying situation is that if you tell her to break up with him and they don’t, you become the enemy of the relationship. Even if they do break up, she’s usually still hung up on him and then the whining becomes so much you actually consider telling her to get back with him just to stop it till they’re fighting again. Well that’s not even the issue because now I just alternate the ‘break up’ and ‘don’t break up’ responses. The truth is that I’m an amebo and I want to know what happened. I just don’t want to have to give an opinion. A simple “that bastard Tony slept with my best friend too and I found messages on her phone” would suffice. I don’t need a ‘what should I do because I don’t want to lose him / I’m angry at him / I don’t want him to continue cheating on me.’ In all honesty, if he cheated on you, he doesn’t really care bout you. Sorry! That’s the truth for me. When I like a girl, she’s all the girl I need. No exigent circumstances matter (except if you had to bang her or die).
What am I getting at here? Well for those who can actually call me friend, I am Casper. I am your friend. I am not trying to fuck you (at least 80% of the time I’m not). If I’m trying to, I will eventually. Don’t waste our time. So if I endure your crappy stories about how you cannot understand your boyfriend, you are somehow special to me. That does not mean I enjoy them. Once in a while I want just the details with no emotional bouts. I will advice you, but you must listen to me. I know what I am saying. I am right a lot more times than I take credit for. If after I help you get over bf A you end up in the arms of bf B, who is even worse, just know I’m not going to be there much longer. I have a new no BS policy. You are only allowed to relationship stress me twice a semester (5 month period).
Lastly, to all my fellas who don’t want be Casper but actually are, do something about it men. It’s harder listening to a girl’s relationship issues when you have feelings for her. I suggest you either make your move or at least find someone else to love. Casper has to be getting his mayne! That’s all I’m saying.
DISCLAIMER: If we actually happen to hook up after you break up with your bf, cool! I don’t take prisoners. I also would not break up a couple to get to the girl (I’d probably just get with her while she’s still in the relationship and be out).

Tribute To My Granny, Mrs. Esther Ojuba Jeddie (1925-2010).

She was 85!!! Damn!
Today’s the wake keeping for my late Grand Mother, Mrs. Ojuba Esther Jeddie. I only found out her name when I saw the obituary posted on the gate of the house. All my life I had known her as Iye Ogijo (old mother / woman). We never call any older members of the family by their names (and we definitely didn’t call the ‘dad’, ‘mom’ etc ) so we sort of created names for them. I don’t even know who came up with that idea but it works just fine.
Anyways I was just thinking about how little I know about her (or my parents for that matter). You know how some things are never necessary till you realize you don’t know them. A good example would be to try and remember how you learnt what you’re parents’ real names were (if you still think their names are dad and mom you’re in trouble dude). *The music just started playing … sad tunes* I didn’t see her much when I was younger (my parents aren’t really big on the going to villa every year stuff). I have memories of her coming over to visit when I was younger but as I couldn’t speak my language then it’s all fuzzy in my head. I only really started getting to know (learn about) her in the last few years.
I know she was beautiful when she was younger; strong and beautiful. She was some kinda model / dancer / singer / MBG of her villa sha. The glamorous life. I know nothing about her sense of humor, but I have a feeling she was a “bad guy”. She was definitely an idol worshipper for most of her life (she only became Christian about 5years ago) so her jazz must’ve been the good stuff (s/o all the Igala native doctors). She was definitely strong at whatever faith she practiced judging by her Christian days. I know her 4 surviving children weren’t the only ones she gave birth to. I remember mumsy telling me about having a lot more siblings when she was younger (I guess both popsy & mumsy had their fair share of sibling loss). She must have been a real strong parent to lose her children and stay supportive. Plus I think her husband died real early too.
I remember the last time I saw her. She was about to go back to village or I was about to return to AUN (the details are mixed up in my head). She called me over to where she was sitting and then she prayed for me. She blessed me. I can’t remember the blessings but I hope they stuck. I had this gut feeling that it was the last time we were going to see each other. I guess she must have felt it too. I remember thinking about her on the 12th of December (the day she died). I was walking back to dorm CC from the cafeteria in the evening. I was thinking about going home to see her. I don’t even know how I knew she was in Kaduna. She had been ill for a while. I was saying to myself that it would be great to see her one more time (I kinda knew it wasn’t going to happen ). It would be like cheating death for me. I didn’t see her one more time.
Turns out she was awake and had just finished with the doctor. It was the day after her great grandson had celebrated his 1st birthday. A milestone by anyone’s count. I guess God wanted her to mark that before she passed. Mumsy put her to bed and went to see the doctor off. By the time she returned, Iye Ogijo was dead. The End.
For me, today we are not mourning my grandmother. Today is a celebration of life. 85 years and 4 generations of life. She died at the age I have subconsciously set for myself as my expiration age (except if I’m still fresh and sexy at 86). Mrs. Esther Ojuba Jeddie. The only one of my grand-parents I actually saw and knew. May your gentle soul and the souls of all the faithfully departed through the mercy of God rest in (prefect and everlasting) peace. And at the risk of sounding like one of them obituary columnists I say, Adieu Iye Ogijo. You are in a wayyyyyyy better place (I hope).
PS: MBG means Most Beautiful Girl (for those that don’t happen to run into fashion pageants randomly on TV.

Merry Xmas

So it's the 25th of December and depending on where you are right now ... it’s Christmas day.
I haven't blogged in a loooong time so I decided to do something about it. Actually I want to get back into the writing game. I used to be this awesome poet/lyricist/storyteller dude ... and somehow I managed to LAZY all that away ... even rap. RAP!!! My love ... I haven't written a verse in quite a bit. N e ways, I thought I'd say something about Christmas.
All my life I've never liked Christmas that much. Ok that's not true. I loved Christmas till I turned 10 (I think that was when I began to compare my life to other people’s … worst thing ever). Anyway, I realized what xmas had become to me. It was that yearly reminder that I knew people who were rich and connected enough to breeze through countries. Like that (snaps fingers). All these guys had to do was decide where they wanted to go and that was it. Their parents had it covered. I guess the money thing had always been the chip on my shoulder. It’s not like my parents were poor or couldn’t afford it. It’s just money has always been something to be wise with for my folks (I guess that’s a millionaire’s definition of poor anyways). I have since decided I am going to be mind-blowing rich. My children might be a little spoiled. Maybe a lot ... I haven’t decided on a wife yet. Anyways you get my drift. I believe it’s why I’m so talented and all; money one way or another.
I spent almost every Christmas since 10 watching other people enjoy themselves, wondering whether there actually is a reason to be happy and merry. I mean Christmas is a scam. Christ wasn’t even born on Christmas day (to be discussed later). People use this season to make insane sales and money. Everything xmasy about xmas isn’t Christian … I mean who the fuck is Santa Claus in the church history? Exactly! I just see these things and shake my head. Christmas has mostly been about going out to see other people (friends) and getting a break from the world while people delude themselves that they have a reason to celebrate. In truth, it’s just another day in another week, in another month, in one more year. At least till this Christmas it was.
This year, nothing has changed. At least not in the general sense of my Christmases. I’m currently at home, on my bed. This is my general idea for a worst-case scenario when I think about holidays and festivals. Me. At home. No Cyril to hang out with (Cyril’s my immediate elder / twin brother). No idea who’s in town and no plans to go see anyone. This year however, I have made a realization. Christmas was never meant to celebrate Christ’s birthday. It is the celebration of Christ’s birth. While these two may sound like the same thing, I must say they are VERY different. We (I hope) are actually celebrating the idea of Jesus Christ, being born among men. It’s the event, the beginning of man’s salvation, not the date that makes the day special. I guess what I’m saying is for the world to take a moment today to actually do something pure of heart for someone else today (even if it’s getting their drunk asses home safely later tonight). I still haven’t had a Christmas worth remembering, but at least this one taught me something. Hopefully the next will be spent somewhere in Switzerland (don’t ask) with someone worth it, and family of course (… actually, ‘Someone and the Family’ sounds like the name of a sitcom I’m gonna produce later on in life).
So, to the world, merry Christmas 2010. May all your Christmas wishes (wonder who invented that) come true this year. And may we all see the years 2011 – (you know … the year we all individually die).

THE AUN SGA ELECTIONS ARE HERE ... AGAIN.

The most politically oriented, drama-filled, nerve racking, traitor revealing (ok not just traitorship … there’s some real chess skills shown once in a while), genius producing moment of the AUN social calendar is here.

The AUN SGA elections, when you start seeing posters defacing the walls and windows of my beloved (if I hear) university.

The AUN SGA elections, when you will start hearing words like “Reclamation” and see phrases like “If blood must flow, let it be mine” (shout out to my boy AK … how poetically political is that).

The AUN SGA elections, when people who have barely said a word to you all your lives WILL come up to you acting like you have been friends for all ages, asking you for your votes.

The AUN SGA elections, when your boyfriends/girlfriends would ask you to pick between the relationship and TY/Soji … Mansur/Peter … Babalola/Effiong … same story different names.

The AUN SGA elections, when we’ll need all our ‘MALO’ friends. O! Yes, just this once, we’ll really need you. We think you are really smart and need your strategic advantage.

The AUN SGA elections, when the question always comes up; “Are you REALLY going to do all these things?” (Yea baby, I will be faithful to you even when you go on exchange.)

The AUN SGA elections, when you begin to wonder whether the voters even understand what their candidates are saying before the start cheering and whooping out loud.

The AUN SGA elections; when … … … is it just a popularity contest? How will these new guys achieve what the old ones couldn’t? Is this how 9ja’s gonna be when we are in power? (Yes to th@ last question if God doesn’t format our brains in 2012).

You should get the point by now. The decisions we are gonna make are going to shape how your next academic year is going to be on every aspect except academically (actually even academically if we’re gonna be boycotting any more classes). These people are going to try their best to fight for what YOU NEED (need not want). I would want to vote in people who would know how to fight right and achieve results (it’s not all shouting … but getting results). I try my best to steer clear of religious and political debating, but as a soon to be ex-member of the SGA I must say … you better choose wisely y’all. That Betsy bitch is only going to use your next president to execute her plans (she has tasted power, do you really think she’s going to step down without a lil’ Obasanjo stratagem?)

Alright … my instructor’s asking me to come up and explain smth … I will get back to the issues ASAP.

Cheers,

JayAugg.

The Dreamer

They call me the dreamer, styles from beyond

Like fifteen million miles from the sun

I'm out of this world n impossible to reach

Would love to help but it's impossible to teach

My swag ... might call it fly

Let y'all look ... I sky walk by (get it?)

Can call it why (my) flow goes over y'all heads

N if my flow is a river y'all can bank on it right?

True... cuz I got the right plan

Keeping it live, with or without a hype man

Plus I'm well read like a sun-burnt white man

(Small pause) like Obama I can...

They call me the dreamer, but I do it in the day (though')

Can’t sleep not till this music starts to pay (yo!)

The title of Olajuwon Hakeem fits me

Close ur eyes, feel the song and dream with me.

(The dreamer).

This was one of my old rap verses I just thought to put up online.

Lone Wolf Syndrome

The eyes see in, but only the mind gives insight ... JayAugg ™

It’s the discrepancies between MY description of myself and nearly everyone else’s that makes me wonder.

I would go with: quiet, self-contained, lazy, moody and sometimes judgmental.

Many people would go with quite the opposite: noisy, loud, playful, fun … you know, things that actually make me look like a social creature (I have my days, but they make it look like I am joke book).

In reality, I think I am quite incapable of maintaining relationships (I get the “Where’ve you been” a lil too often). I think I really am a victim of the Lone Wolf Syndrome.

I seem to be really jovial and funny, always coming up with silly stuff? Thank God that those are the thoughts I voice out. The rest of the time, my mind is in all the dark places normal people do not want to visit. No! I am not implying that I am abnormal, just that it would not be fun to be in my head. I have to keep myself happy with that smile and that joke or risk falling into the abyss that lays ahead (no pun intended). Honestly, I grow weary these days. I would much rather sit alone in my room and watch something off my laptop.

I actually have tried, keeping up appearances (OMG I am good @ this stuff). In actuality, I think I grow weary of folk easily. I mean there’s peeps that can’t shut up about themselves, and those who don’t think highly enough of themselves (those one’s I actually kinda try to avoid. They bring out the ME in me). Anyways, I found a way to stay in the mix; I move through peeps every semester. While the people I can proudly call friends are constant, they are few (shout out 4:18, Yemi and the gang). And I really don’t even know how many of them know anything about me. The truth is … I don’t talk about myself much. Not my past, not my future … probably just the really obvious present (chicks and … chicks).

I even only just thought about this because, I was doing one of my lone walks (which is what I do when I’m confused or pissed or REALLY sad), and I saw a bunch of people that I hang with. I thought about how funny it was that the more people I surround myself with, the more I realize how truly alone I am (and I am not referring to the ‘I don’t have a GF’ loneliness: … it’s the ‘no one may ever get me’ loneliness). I do better in this loneliness, or @least I have gotten used to it. Lone Wolf Style …

This is a stream of consciousness by the way …

The Blow .. .. ... And I Ain't talking COKE!!!

It came when we weren't looking

When no one thought to stay on guard

It dealt us it's deadly blow

And DAMN we hit the floor hard

This doing of Aphrodite (Venus) and her son

Greek or Roman? Eros or Cupid?

No time to argue over which name is the correct one

No! That'll be plain stupid

What we must do is focus on these feelings

and decide what to do with them

must we pretend that they do not exist

or make plans to go through with them

For those arrows have left me a hole

and a poison just in case

but I feel you are the antidote

and mine will your heart replace.

I wrote this poem in French class ... So I guess the whole French / Romantic thing may Have some weight to it. I seem to do my most romantic thinking there.

French Class

The only course I actually look forward to classes in ... Le Francais. Mrs. Arlette Bollou (the instructor) is actually cool. I love her accent. Plus plus ... today in class she said the United Condom instead of the United Kingdom. It was MOMENTOUS. Err1 was laughing their asses off and she dint get. She finally booted about 15mins later and errupted herself.

So onto the language ... I'm gonna buy me some Rosetta Stone and install the French language option.

Btw, hasn't n e 1 noticed that que-est ce que c'est is just a waste of time? Literally it means 'what is this that this is' ... abeg who came up with that as a way of asking 'what is it'.

Still havent learned what the f-word is in french.

Quelle langue parle-tu?

More on French later.

Random Thoughts

It's funny how I havent been on in about a year ... This was meant to be my vent ground.

I've had many many many things I've wanted to post here.

Now that I AM here however let's start with an update.

Over the last 2months, I have ...

1. Met and liked the younger sister of a girl I liked a lot 2years ago. She has the same features (actually bigger). Striking resemblance stuff. I sha convinced myself that it wasnt going to end well. On to the next one

2. Met another chick and had her CHANGE UP on my ass (no1 saw her coming). She still alive. I'm not sure I still have any feelings for her (apart from that jealous pang when I see her with other dudes). We gon be aight tho' ... I have this heart-wrenching speech I'm just dying to give her.

3. Met the one ... that has it going on good ... And she likes me ... And I like her ... And we've had the conversation ... BUT!!! the ever present BUT! She doesn't think she's ready. Hey! I ain't pushing. I'm gonna go with the flow on this one.

So that's on the girl-oriented side. On to the next.

Gossip girl resumes tomorrow ... today in yankee. My tomorrow (6hour lag stuff). 90210 comes the day after. Download boys are getting warmed up. SO I gotta get ma VOLTRON up (blame it on weezy).

Would love to stay here and continue but I'm in french class ryt now. Holla Back ASAP!