Casper!

Yup! You know him. Everyone knows him ... the friendly ghost.
So why am I talking about Casper again? Not 'cause I like some cartoon baby ghost. No! Not at all. I'm talking about Casper because well, to some extent he reminds me of someone I know. Myself!
I remember the first time I heard the word. I was in the AUN clubhouse with Soji & some other peeps just hanging and talking bout chics. He asked me about a girl and whether we were hooking up or if I was her Casper (I wasn't btw). The concept of Casper basically has to do with guy-girl relationships. You know? That guy that hangs out with the hot girl but isn't doing anything with her (not because he doesn't want to). It just so happened that he ended up in the unfortunate 'friends-zone'.
Well, that guy 80% of the time is me. The good thing for me though is that it’s not because I couldn’t avoid / can’t get out of the friend zone, but because I have too many female friends (if only my Young Money wish would come true). I can’t possibly expect to date them or be involved in other capacities with all of them. I don’t mind. I like being there for people. My problem is not with being Casper as much as it is with why I become their Casper. I get too attached to people too easily. I meet a girl. She’s fine and intelligent (has a sense of humor). I like her. Next thing we’re besties. Then she meets the dude that she eventually ends up going out with and he’s an asshole (usually my friend too). Now I have to listen to all the BS and telling her to break up with him is not an option (not even cos the guy is my guy but because girls rarely listen to that stuff). The truth is that it actually annoys me when I see guys treating girls like crap. It hurts even more when the girls are my friends.
I need to stop caring (at least stop acting like I do). I don’t want be a bastard, but a little less sensitivity will take me a long way. Kill that nice guy image too.
The thing with this annoying situation is that if you tell her to break up with him and they don’t, you become the enemy of the relationship. Even if they do break up, she’s usually still hung up on him and then the whining becomes so much you actually consider telling her to get back with him just to stop it till they’re fighting again. Well that’s not even the issue because now I just alternate the ‘break up’ and ‘don’t break up’ responses. The truth is that I’m an amebo and I want to know what happened. I just don’t want to have to give an opinion. A simple “that bastard Tony slept with my best friend too and I found messages on her phone” would suffice. I don’t need a ‘what should I do because I don’t want to lose him / I’m angry at him / I don’t want him to continue cheating on me.’ In all honesty, if he cheated on you, he doesn’t really care bout you. Sorry! That’s the truth for me. When I like a girl, she’s all the girl I need. No exigent circumstances matter (except if you had to bang her or die).
What am I getting at here? Well for those who can actually call me friend, I am Casper. I am your friend. I am not trying to fuck you (at least 80% of the time I’m not). If I’m trying to, I will eventually. Don’t waste our time. So if I endure your crappy stories about how you cannot understand your boyfriend, you are somehow special to me. That does not mean I enjoy them. Once in a while I want just the details with no emotional bouts. I will advice you, but you must listen to me. I know what I am saying. I am right a lot more times than I take credit for. If after I help you get over bf A you end up in the arms of bf B, who is even worse, just know I’m not going to be there much longer. I have a new no BS policy. You are only allowed to relationship stress me twice a semester (5 month period).
Lastly, to all my fellas who don’t want be Casper but actually are, do something about it men. It’s harder listening to a girl’s relationship issues when you have feelings for her. I suggest you either make your move or at least find someone else to love. Casper has to be getting his mayne! That’s all I’m saying.
DISCLAIMER: If we actually happen to hook up after you break up with your bf, cool! I don’t take prisoners. I also would not break up a couple to get to the girl (I’d probably just get with her while she’s still in the relationship and be out).