Thursday, February 3, 2011


Our (AUN students') favorite internet comptroller may appear to be the law when it comes to our internet on campus ... and he probably is. However, there's always a loophole in his plans. Like how it was that we could still DL from if we put a ? at the end of the DL address.
Well he put up these restrictions on the Blogspot website, Facebook, twitter, etc so that we are not able to browse from 8am-6pm. Pretty good plan when you ignore the fact that making the Facebook page a secure page makes it available (a down side is that you can't chat or view/attach videos) and that the blogger address is still available. Stupid ... I can post new blogs, but I cannot view them til lpast 6pm.

Just thought I'd put something up there.
Cheers world.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

From the JayNesis

The JayNesis ... my Freshman mixtape that is yet to be completed. It's been derailed by about 7months now. I have been too lazy / tied up to get to the studio. Have written at least 12 songs and not 1 has been recorded. N e waiz I was thinking about the JayNesis and my need to rewrite most of them songs (some topics are time-sensitive and are past season) and thought I'd blog about it.

So ... I'm just gonna post a couple of lines / punchlines I came up with a while back ... in ones and twos. Enjoy: PS: Feel free to leave comments BELOW!!!

- I told her to mimic my ride then I dropped the top
- She must be hella brainy the way she face books
- Treat that attitude like your virginity and lose it already
- They fear me like d virus cuz I'm a baller (ebola)
- I always keep it hard; viagra
- Got that oceanic flow, smth to bank on
- I get mad cheese no photography
- They calling me a beast for the caskets that I've closed
but they should call me priest for the masses I control
- I drop bars like I quit law school

And I know a lot of them punchlines were Over your head like a halo ... I'd like to keep the rest till I release my songs (dental advisory ... don't BITE).

So til lthey JayNesis drops ... #anticipate

E go be le

One of my most sarcasm-based sayings ... e go be le. Just my annoying pidgin way of saying 'later' (e go be later for you). There is one key difference though; when people say later, they mean it. When I say 'e go be le', I'm generally not even thinking about helping you out (sometimes I don't even know this). It's my procrastination speaking to the world. One of my few tells in this world.

Why do I bring this up now?

Interestingly, I was/am in a class (technical report writing) and I need to learn a citation style other than MLA. I say to myself 'better go research this topic ASAP' and myself replies ... you guessed it ... 'e go be le'. What does this mean? Have I already decided that I wanna fail this course?

PS: To all the people that I say 'e go be le' to a lot ... I'm sorry I'm sorry (in Jesus Pascal's voice). I can't help the way I feel about work. It may be a demon.


Monday, January 17, 2011

New Girls

This is a delayed post. Was too busy downloading all the new episodes of the series I watch to post this earlier.
The 1st 2 paragraphs are from last week ... the rest is from today

1. Spring 2011. AUN no try for this freshmen o! There are only 60-smth of them. Boys are always more than girls so that creates an idea of how many of them are female (legally). Using logic (and our Dijkstra's algorithm for identifying fine girls) you can predict how many of them are remarkable facially/physically (fill in the blank). I know I know, eventually their personalities will replace their physical appearances for consideration. But in the meantime (before I get to know em personally) ... AUN no try o!
2. Don't be there judging me about my depth, judging people by how they look because YOU do it too ... you just don't have the guts/stupidity to blog about it (or maybe you do).

I have spoken to a couple of them now and I was right. They are actually really cool (er than the animals that showed up last semester). Kene, Tolu, Annie, Hafsy, Kk (dunno how she got that from Nkechi), Uzo (Daisy, Nneoma, Ada ... this girl has too many fucking names), Steph, Idera, Paulette (an AMAZING dancer), Marvy, Lois (Lane-Hassan), ... , etc. These peeps are actually really cool. Too bad this is my last semester. I'd have loved to get to know 'em better.
I was hanging out with them the other day (I say it like it wasn't yesterday) and they were discussing boys that haven't even resumed yet (Oni-bud-bud & Ezibe holla). These guys are positive and positively bored ... let the games begin.

Just so you know (if you were wondering). I am not running any of them. I can't be doing 18 credits and hustling freshmen (In Shaft's voice: I'm too old for this shit). However if (when) anything is going to happen, it will ... no promises.

Spring 2011 & SDP

New fucking semester and still the old troubles. Thought I'd be able to get rid of some of this shit. Anyways that's not the main thing I feel like talking about.
I thought I only needed to do Summer I to grad ... WRONG!!! Apparently I did a course that was shitty as hell cuz I din't need to do it. Well now there's Summer II and a posssible Fall 11 in the view (I rebuke that in Jesus' name).
Senior Design Project (SDP).
The SDP is basically the summary of your years in AUN. You partake in a project as a group (or on your own) and then there's a presentation at the end of the semester. I have 2 problems with this however.
1. After my 2nd year I have not been taught anything practical. I have to learn errthing on my own now (PHP, SQL & ORACLE if I have the time). I also have to refresh my JAVA knowledge as I haven't written a program in about a year and a half (and convert some C++).
2. When everyone else was deciding what they were gonna do with their time (probably in their second year), I was chasing freshmen girls. I still have no fucking clue what I wanna do ... have to think of smth ASAP. Btw I wouldn't mind ideas (BELLLOOOWWW!!!).

So while I'm pretty sure that God won't let me let myself remain in skool till Fall 11, I don't wanna fall for the same trick I play on myself (saying it'll all work out in the end). I don tire for AUN o! I wan go for July as a worst case scenario.
Here's to wishing all the instructors I need to be around for Summer II are gna be needing the extra cash this year. (Is it safe to pray they get really broke and need extra cash?)

Tuesday, December 28, 2010


Yup! You know him. Everyone knows him ... the friendly ghost.
So why am I talking about Casper again? Not 'cause I like some cartoon baby ghost. No! Not at all. I'm talking about Casper because well, to some extent he reminds me of someone I know. Myself!
I remember the first time I heard the word. I was in the AUN clubhouse with Soji & some other peeps just hanging and talking bout chics. He asked me about a girl and whether we were hooking up or if I was her Casper (I wasn't btw). The concept of Casper basically has to do with guy-girl relationships. You know? That guy that hangs out with the hot girl but isn't doing anything with her (not because he doesn't want to). It just so happened that he ended up in the unfortunate 'friends-zone'.
Well, that guy 80% of the time is me. The good thing for me though is that it’s not because I couldn’t avoid / can’t get out of the friend zone, but because I have too many female friends (if only my Young Money wish would come true). I can’t possibly expect to date them or be involved in other capacities with all of them. I don’t mind. I like being there for people. My problem is not with being Casper as much as it is with why I become their Casper. I get too attached to people too easily. I meet a girl. She’s fine and intelligent (has a sense of humor). I like her. Next thing we’re besties. Then she meets the dude that she eventually ends up going out with and he’s an asshole (usually my friend too). Now I have to listen to all the BS and telling her to break up with him is not an option (not even cos the guy is my guy but because girls rarely listen to that stuff). The truth is that it actually annoys me when I see guys treating girls like crap. It hurts even more when the girls are my friends.
I need to stop caring (at least stop acting like I do). I don’t want be a bastard, but a little less sensitivity will take me a long way. Kill that nice guy image too.
The thing with this annoying situation is that if you tell her to break up with him and they don’t, you become the enemy of the relationship. Even if they do break up, she’s usually still hung up on him and then the whining becomes so much you actually consider telling her to get back with him just to stop it till they’re fighting again. Well that’s not even the issue because now I just alternate the ‘break up’ and ‘don’t break up’ responses. The truth is that I’m an amebo and I want to know what happened. I just don’t want to have to give an opinion. A simple “that bastard Tony slept with my best friend too and I found messages on her phone” would suffice. I don’t need a ‘what should I do because I don’t want to lose him / I’m angry at him / I don’t want him to continue cheating on me.’ In all honesty, if he cheated on you, he doesn’t really care bout you. Sorry! That’s the truth for me. When I like a girl, she’s all the girl I need. No exigent circumstances matter (except if you had to bang her or die).
What am I getting at here? Well for those who can actually call me friend, I am Casper. I am your friend. I am not trying to fuck you (at least 80% of the time I’m not). If I’m trying to, I will eventually. Don’t waste our time. So if I endure your crappy stories about how you cannot understand your boyfriend, you are somehow special to me. That does not mean I enjoy them. Once in a while I want just the details with no emotional bouts. I will advice you, but you must listen to me. I know what I am saying. I am right a lot more times than I take credit for. If after I help you get over bf A you end up in the arms of bf B, who is even worse, just know I’m not going to be there much longer. I have a new no BS policy. You are only allowed to relationship stress me twice a semester (5 month period).
Lastly, to all my fellas who don’t want be Casper but actually are, do something about it men. It’s harder listening to a girl’s relationship issues when you have feelings for her. I suggest you either make your move or at least find someone else to love. Casper has to be getting his mayne! That’s all I’m saying.
DISCLAIMER: If we actually happen to hook up after you break up with your bf, cool! I don’t take prisoners. I also would not break up a couple to get to the girl (I’d probably just get with her while she’s still in the relationship and be out).

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Tribute To My Granny, Mrs. Esther Ojuba Jeddie (1925-2010).

She was 85!!! Damn!
Today’s the wake keeping for my late Grand Mother, Mrs. Ojuba Esther Jeddie. I only found out her name when I saw the obituary posted on the gate of the house. All my life I had known her as Iye Ogijo (old mother / woman). We never call any older members of the family by their names (and we definitely didn’t call the ‘dad’, ‘mom’ etc ) so we sort of created names for them. I don’t even know who came up with that idea but it works just fine.
Anyways I was just thinking about how little I know about her (or my parents for that matter). You know how some things are never necessary till you realize you don’t know them. A good example would be to try and remember how you learnt what you’re parents’ real names were (if you still think their names are dad and mom you’re in trouble dude). *The music just started playing … sad tunes* I didn’t see her much when I was younger (my parents aren’t really big on the going to villa every year stuff). I have memories of her coming over to visit when I was younger but as I couldn’t speak my language then it’s all fuzzy in my head. I only really started getting to know (learn about) her in the last few years.
I know she was beautiful when she was younger; strong and beautiful. She was some kinda model / dancer / singer / MBG of her villa sha. The glamorous life. I know nothing about her sense of humor, but I have a feeling she was a “bad guy”. She was definitely an idol worshipper for most of her life (she only became Christian about 5years ago) so her jazz must’ve been the good stuff (s/o all the Igala native doctors). She was definitely strong at whatever faith she practiced judging by her Christian days. I know her 4 surviving children weren’t the only ones she gave birth to. I remember mumsy telling me about having a lot more siblings when she was younger (I guess both popsy & mumsy had their fair share of sibling loss). She must have been a real strong parent to lose her children and stay supportive. Plus I think her husband died real early too.
I remember the last time I saw her. She was about to go back to village or I was about to return to AUN (the details are mixed up in my head). She called me over to where she was sitting and then she prayed for me. She blessed me. I can’t remember the blessings but I hope they stuck. I had this gut feeling that it was the last time we were going to see each other. I guess she must have felt it too. I remember thinking about her on the 12th of December (the day she died). I was walking back to dorm CC from the cafeteria in the evening. I was thinking about going home to see her. I don’t even know how I knew she was in Kaduna. She had been ill for a while. I was saying to myself that it would be great to see her one more time (I kinda knew it wasn’t going to happen ). It would be like cheating death for me. I didn’t see her one more time.
Turns out she was awake and had just finished with the doctor. It was the day after her great grandson had celebrated his 1st birthday. A milestone by anyone’s count. I guess God wanted her to mark that before she passed. Mumsy put her to bed and went to see the doctor off. By the time she returned, Iye Ogijo was dead. The End.
For me, today we are not mourning my grandmother. Today is a celebration of life. 85 years and 4 generations of life. She died at the age I have subconsciously set for myself as my expiration age (except if I’m still fresh and sexy at 86). Mrs. Esther Ojuba Jeddie. The only one of my grand-parents I actually saw and knew. May your gentle soul and the souls of all the faithfully departed through the mercy of God rest in (prefect and everlasting) peace. And at the risk of sounding like one of them obituary columnists I say, Adieu Iye Ogijo. You are in a wayyyyyyy better place (I hope).
PS: MBG means Most Beautiful Girl (for those that don’t happen to run into fashion pageants randomly on TV.