Yup! You know him. Everyone knows him ... the friendly ghost.
So why am I talking about Casper again? Not 'cause I like some cartoon baby ghost. No! Not at all. I'm talking about Casper because well, to some extent he reminds me of someone I know. Myself!
I remember the first time I heard the word. I was in the AUN clubhouse with Soji & some other peeps just hanging and talking bout chics. He asked me about a girl and whether we were hooking up or if I was her Casper (I wasn't btw). The concept of Casper basically has to do with guy-girl relationships. You know? That guy that hangs out with the hot girl but isn't doing anything with her (not because he doesn't want to). It just so happened that he ended up in the unfortunate 'friends-zone'.
Well, that guy 80% of the time is me. The good thing for me though is that it’s not because I couldn’t avoid / can’t get out of the friend zone, but because I have too many female friends (if only my Young Money wish would come true). I can’t possibly expect to date them or be involved in other capacities with all of them. I don’t mind. I like being there for people. My problem is not with being Casper as much as it is with why I become their Casper. I get too attached to people too easily. I meet a girl. She’s fine and intelligent (has a sense of humor). I like her. Next thing we’re besties. Then she meets the dude that she eventually ends up going out with and he’s an asshole (usually my friend too). Now I have to listen to all the BS and telling her to break up with him is not an option (not even cos the guy is my guy but because girls rarely listen to that stuff). The truth is that it actually annoys me when I see guys treating girls like crap. It hurts even more when the girls are my friends.
I need to stop caring (at least stop acting like I do). I don’t want be a bastard, but a little less sensitivity will take me a long way. Kill that nice guy image too.
The thing with this annoying situation is that if you tell her to break up with him and they don’t, you become the enemy of the relationship. Even if they do break up, she’s usually still hung up on him and then the whining becomes so much you actually consider telling her to get back with him just to stop it till they’re fighting again. Well that’s not even the issue because now I just alternate the ‘break up’ and ‘don’t break up’ responses. The truth is that I’m an amebo and I want to know what happened. I just don’t want to have to give an opinion. A simple “that bastard Tony slept with my best friend too and I found messages on her phone” would suffice. I don’t need a ‘what should I do because I don’t want to lose him / I’m angry at him / I don’t want him to continue cheating on me.’ In all honesty, if he cheated on you, he doesn’t really care bout you. Sorry! That’s the truth for me. When I like a girl, she’s all the girl I need. No exigent circumstances matter (except if you had to bang her or die).
What am I getting at here? Well for those who can actually call me friend, I am Casper. I am your friend. I am not trying to fuck you (at least 80% of the time I’m not). If I’m trying to, I will eventually. Don’t waste our time. So if I endure your crappy stories about how you cannot understand your boyfriend, you are somehow special to me. That does not mean I enjoy them. Once in a while I want just the details with no emotional bouts. I will advice you, but you must listen to me. I know what I am saying. I am right a lot more times than I take credit for. If after I help you get over bf A you end up in the arms of bf B, who is even worse, just know I’m not going to be there much longer. I have a new no BS policy. You are only allowed to relationship stress me twice a semester (5 month period).
Lastly, to all my fellas who don’t want be Casper but actually are, do something about it men. It’s harder listening to a girl’s relationship issues when you have feelings for her. I suggest you either make your move or at least find someone else to love. Casper has to be getting his mayne! That’s all I’m saying.
DISCLAIMER: If we actually happen to hook up after you break up with your bf, cool! I don’t take prisoners. I also would not break up a couple to get to the girl (I’d probably just get with her while she’s still in the relationship and be out).
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Tribute To My Granny, Mrs. Esther Ojuba Jeddie (1925-2010).
She was 85!!! Damn!
Today’s the wake keeping for my late Grand Mother, Mrs. Ojuba Esther Jeddie. I only found out her name when I saw the obituary posted on the gate of the house. All my life I had known her as Iye Ogijo (old mother / woman). We never call any older members of the family by their names (and we definitely didn’t call the ‘dad’, ‘mom’ etc ) so we sort of created names for them. I don’t even know who came up with that idea but it works just fine.
Anyways I was just thinking about how little I know about her (or my parents for that matter). You know how some things are never necessary till you realize you don’t know them. A good example would be to try and remember how you learnt what you’re parents’ real names were (if you still think their names are dad and mom you’re in trouble dude). *The music just started playing … sad tunes* I didn’t see her much when I was younger (my parents aren’t really big on the going to villa every year stuff). I have memories of her coming over to visit when I was younger but as I couldn’t speak my language then it’s all fuzzy in my head. I only really started getting to know (learn about) her in the last few years.
I know she was beautiful when she was younger; strong and beautiful. She was some kinda model / dancer / singer / MBG of her villa sha. The glamorous life. I know nothing about her sense of humor, but I have a feeling she was a “bad guy”. She was definitely an idol worshipper for most of her life (she only became Christian about 5years ago) so her jazz must’ve been the good stuff (s/o all the Igala native doctors). She was definitely strong at whatever faith she practiced judging by her Christian days. I know her 4 surviving children weren’t the only ones she gave birth to. I remember mumsy telling me about having a lot more siblings when she was younger (I guess both popsy & mumsy had their fair share of sibling loss). She must have been a real strong parent to lose her children and stay supportive. Plus I think her husband died real early too.
I remember the last time I saw her. She was about to go back to village or I was about to return to AUN (the details are mixed up in my head). She called me over to where she was sitting and then she prayed for me. She blessed me. I can’t remember the blessings but I hope they stuck. I had this gut feeling that it was the last time we were going to see each other. I guess she must have felt it too. I remember thinking about her on the 12th of December (the day she died). I was walking back to dorm CC from the cafeteria in the evening. I was thinking about going home to see her. I don’t even know how I knew she was in Kaduna. She had been ill for a while. I was saying to myself that it would be great to see her one more time (I kinda knew it wasn’t going to happen ). It would be like cheating death for me. I didn’t see her one more time.
Turns out she was awake and had just finished with the doctor. It was the day after her great grandson had celebrated his 1st birthday. A milestone by anyone’s count. I guess God wanted her to mark that before she passed. Mumsy put her to bed and went to see the doctor off. By the time she returned, Iye Ogijo was dead. The End.
For me, today we are not mourning my grandmother. Today is a celebration of life. 85 years and 4 generations of life. She died at the age I have subconsciously set for myself as my expiration age (except if I’m still fresh and sexy at 86). Mrs. Esther Ojuba Jeddie. The only one of my grand-parents I actually saw and knew. May your gentle soul and the souls of all the faithfully departed through the mercy of God rest in (prefect and everlasting) peace. And at the risk of sounding like one of them obituary columnists I say, Adieu Iye Ogijo. You are in a wayyyyyyy better place (I hope).
PS: MBG means Most Beautiful Girl (for those that don’t happen to run into fashion pageants randomly on TV.
Today’s the wake keeping for my late Grand Mother, Mrs. Ojuba Esther Jeddie. I only found out her name when I saw the obituary posted on the gate of the house. All my life I had known her as Iye Ogijo (old mother / woman). We never call any older members of the family by their names (and we definitely didn’t call the ‘dad’, ‘mom’ etc ) so we sort of created names for them. I don’t even know who came up with that idea but it works just fine.
Anyways I was just thinking about how little I know about her (or my parents for that matter). You know how some things are never necessary till you realize you don’t know them. A good example would be to try and remember how you learnt what you’re parents’ real names were (if you still think their names are dad and mom you’re in trouble dude). *The music just started playing … sad tunes* I didn’t see her much when I was younger (my parents aren’t really big on the going to villa every year stuff). I have memories of her coming over to visit when I was younger but as I couldn’t speak my language then it’s all fuzzy in my head. I only really started getting to know (learn about) her in the last few years.
I know she was beautiful when she was younger; strong and beautiful. She was some kinda model / dancer / singer / MBG of her villa sha. The glamorous life. I know nothing about her sense of humor, but I have a feeling she was a “bad guy”. She was definitely an idol worshipper for most of her life (she only became Christian about 5years ago) so her jazz must’ve been the good stuff (s/o all the Igala native doctors). She was definitely strong at whatever faith she practiced judging by her Christian days. I know her 4 surviving children weren’t the only ones she gave birth to. I remember mumsy telling me about having a lot more siblings when she was younger (I guess both popsy & mumsy had their fair share of sibling loss). She must have been a real strong parent to lose her children and stay supportive. Plus I think her husband died real early too.
I remember the last time I saw her. She was about to go back to village or I was about to return to AUN (the details are mixed up in my head). She called me over to where she was sitting and then she prayed for me. She blessed me. I can’t remember the blessings but I hope they stuck. I had this gut feeling that it was the last time we were going to see each other. I guess she must have felt it too. I remember thinking about her on the 12th of December (the day she died). I was walking back to dorm CC from the cafeteria in the evening. I was thinking about going home to see her. I don’t even know how I knew she was in Kaduna. She had been ill for a while. I was saying to myself that it would be great to see her one more time (I kinda knew it wasn’t going to happen ). It would be like cheating death for me. I didn’t see her one more time.
Turns out she was awake and had just finished with the doctor. It was the day after her great grandson had celebrated his 1st birthday. A milestone by anyone’s count. I guess God wanted her to mark that before she passed. Mumsy put her to bed and went to see the doctor off. By the time she returned, Iye Ogijo was dead. The End.
For me, today we are not mourning my grandmother. Today is a celebration of life. 85 years and 4 generations of life. She died at the age I have subconsciously set for myself as my expiration age (except if I’m still fresh and sexy at 86). Mrs. Esther Ojuba Jeddie. The only one of my grand-parents I actually saw and knew. May your gentle soul and the souls of all the faithfully departed through the mercy of God rest in (prefect and everlasting) peace. And at the risk of sounding like one of them obituary columnists I say, Adieu Iye Ogijo. You are in a wayyyyyyy better place (I hope).
PS: MBG means Most Beautiful Girl (for those that don’t happen to run into fashion pageants randomly on TV.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Merry Xmas
So it's the 25th of December and depending on where you are right now ... it’s Christmas day.
I haven't blogged in a loooong time so I decided to do something about it. Actually I want to get back into the writing game. I used to be this awesome poet/lyricist/storyteller dude ... and somehow I managed to LAZY all that away ... even rap. RAP!!! My love ... I haven't written a verse in quite a bit. N e ways, I thought I'd say something about Christmas.
All my life I've never liked Christmas that much. Ok that's not true. I loved Christmas till I turned 10 (I think that was when I began to compare my life to other people’s … worst thing ever). Anyway, I realized what xmas had become to me. It was that yearly reminder that I knew people who were rich and connected enough to breeze through countries. Like that (snaps fingers). All these guys had to do was decide where they wanted to go and that was it. Their parents had it covered. I guess the money thing had always been the chip on my shoulder. It’s not like my parents were poor or couldn’t afford it. It’s just money has always been something to be wise with for my folks (I guess that’s a millionaire’s definition of poor anyways). I have since decided I am going to be mind-blowing rich. My children might be a little spoiled. Maybe a lot ... I haven’t decided on a wife yet. Anyways you get my drift. I believe it’s why I’m so talented and all; money one way or another.
I spent almost every Christmas since 10 watching other people enjoy themselves, wondering whether there actually is a reason to be happy and merry. I mean Christmas is a scam. Christ wasn’t even born on Christmas day (to be discussed later). People use this season to make insane sales and money. Everything xmasy about xmas isn’t Christian … I mean who the fuck is Santa Claus in the church history? Exactly! I just see these things and shake my head. Christmas has mostly been about going out to see other people (friends) and getting a break from the world while people delude themselves that they have a reason to celebrate. In truth, it’s just another day in another week, in another month, in one more year. At least till this Christmas it was.
This year, nothing has changed. At least not in the general sense of my Christmases. I’m currently at home, on my bed. This is my general idea for a worst-case scenario when I think about holidays and festivals. Me. At home. No Cyril to hang out with (Cyril’s my immediate elder / twin brother). No idea who’s in town and no plans to go see anyone. This year however, I have made a realization. Christmas was never meant to celebrate Christ’s birthday. It is the celebration of Christ’s birth. While these two may sound like the same thing, I must say they are VERY different. We (I hope) are actually celebrating the idea of Jesus Christ, being born among men. It’s the event, the beginning of man’s salvation, not the date that makes the day special. I guess what I’m saying is for the world to take a moment today to actually do something pure of heart for someone else today (even if it’s getting their drunk asses home safely later tonight). I still haven’t had a Christmas worth remembering, but at least this one taught me something. Hopefully the next will be spent somewhere in Switzerland (don’t ask) with someone worth it, and family of course (… actually, ‘Someone and the Family’ sounds like the name of a sitcom I’m gonna produce later on in life).
So, to the world, merry Christmas 2010. May all your Christmas wishes (wonder who invented that) come true this year. And may we all see the years 2011 – (you know … the year we all individually die).
I haven't blogged in a loooong time so I decided to do something about it. Actually I want to get back into the writing game. I used to be this awesome poet/lyricist/storyteller dude ... and somehow I managed to LAZY all that away ... even rap. RAP!!! My love ... I haven't written a verse in quite a bit. N e ways, I thought I'd say something about Christmas.
All my life I've never liked Christmas that much. Ok that's not true. I loved Christmas till I turned 10 (I think that was when I began to compare my life to other people’s … worst thing ever). Anyway, I realized what xmas had become to me. It was that yearly reminder that I knew people who were rich and connected enough to breeze through countries. Like that (snaps fingers). All these guys had to do was decide where they wanted to go and that was it. Their parents had it covered. I guess the money thing had always been the chip on my shoulder. It’s not like my parents were poor or couldn’t afford it. It’s just money has always been something to be wise with for my folks (I guess that’s a millionaire’s definition of poor anyways). I have since decided I am going to be mind-blowing rich. My children might be a little spoiled. Maybe a lot ... I haven’t decided on a wife yet. Anyways you get my drift. I believe it’s why I’m so talented and all; money one way or another.
I spent almost every Christmas since 10 watching other people enjoy themselves, wondering whether there actually is a reason to be happy and merry. I mean Christmas is a scam. Christ wasn’t even born on Christmas day (to be discussed later). People use this season to make insane sales and money. Everything xmasy about xmas isn’t Christian … I mean who the fuck is Santa Claus in the church history? Exactly! I just see these things and shake my head. Christmas has mostly been about going out to see other people (friends) and getting a break from the world while people delude themselves that they have a reason to celebrate. In truth, it’s just another day in another week, in another month, in one more year. At least till this Christmas it was.
This year, nothing has changed. At least not in the general sense of my Christmases. I’m currently at home, on my bed. This is my general idea for a worst-case scenario when I think about holidays and festivals. Me. At home. No Cyril to hang out with (Cyril’s my immediate elder / twin brother). No idea who’s in town and no plans to go see anyone. This year however, I have made a realization. Christmas was never meant to celebrate Christ’s birthday. It is the celebration of Christ’s birth. While these two may sound like the same thing, I must say they are VERY different. We (I hope) are actually celebrating the idea of Jesus Christ, being born among men. It’s the event, the beginning of man’s salvation, not the date that makes the day special. I guess what I’m saying is for the world to take a moment today to actually do something pure of heart for someone else today (even if it’s getting their drunk asses home safely later tonight). I still haven’t had a Christmas worth remembering, but at least this one taught me something. Hopefully the next will be spent somewhere in Switzerland (don’t ask) with someone worth it, and family of course (… actually, ‘Someone and the Family’ sounds like the name of a sitcom I’m gonna produce later on in life).
So, to the world, merry Christmas 2010. May all your Christmas wishes (wonder who invented that) come true this year. And may we all see the years 2011 – (you know … the year we all individually die).
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